Blog #105

Did you know that you can bake a cake in the microwave? It’s true, I’ve done it before, twice actually. It was on Sept 16th 2000. My parents had just gotten a brand new microwave, and this baby was sweet. There were the standard settings and buttons and such. But along side the popcorn, pizza and de-frost buttons there was a Cake button. A cake button? Weird right? Weird, yet intriguing.

My buddy Todd was over when the discovery of the cake button was observed; “Dude, this microwave has a cake button!”

“really? that’s amazing, wanna make a cake?”

“Yes, yes I do”

Todd and I promptly nuked up two delicious cakes. One each for my friends Eric and Brett,  both of whom had just celebrated their 17th birthdays.

Todd and I delivered the cakes to the boys, needless to say Operation Nuke a Cake was a huge success. The cakes were moist and delicious, both Brett and Eric were grateful to receive such thoughtful and yummy gifts.

Cakes are always a great way to start your Saturday evening. Us four boys were all feeling pretty good about ourselves. Scrumptious cakes and good friends, what more could you want? Well, we were 17, we knew exactly what we wanted. We wanted beer and cute girls.

We were chilling out at our other buds house and we hit up ICQ in attempts to search out leads on beer and/or girls. After a little digging we caught wind of a party going on. The party was across town however, one of us would have to forgo the beer and just stick to girls. Eric agreed to drive, he had his eye on a cute little 10th grade ditty and he had to be on his game (note, none of us had any sort of game at all). We all packed into Eric’s Pontiac Sunfire and headed west.

We were rolling down Comissioners Rd. Weenus’ Teenage Dirtbag was on the radio, we were chatting about boobs and just being generally weird. The Sunfire was about 100m behind an SUV as we crossed Wonderland rd.  All of a sudden off a side street came a random car, a car with a horrible driver. How do I know that said car had a horrible driver? Because this dumbass slammed the gas as he took the widest damn turn in the history of turns. Idiot car clipped the back of the SUV. The impact caused idiot car to lose control and he was now barreling right towards us. There was no time to react, bright lights, screeching tires…this was gonna suck.

I clenched my teeth as I braced for impact. Idiot car slammed into us head on. I was jerked around  a bit and I slammed the hell outta my head on the head rest in front of me. I mean, I smashed that sucker hard! It was lame.

After a few moments Eric was the first to speak “oh man, I hit my head on the steering wheel so hard!”  Brett then chimed in “arghhh! Get out of the car!” I had never been in a real car wreck before, but Hollywood had taught me that the car would probably explode soon. So we all piled out of the car and threw ourselves on a random lawn.

After a few seconds of rolling around and being dramatic we realized that we were all pretty much fine. Todd spoke up “I’m good guys!” I assessed my own situation “Yeah, I’m good too!” Eric; “Smashed head, but all good here!” (Eric was probably concussed, that kid used to get concussions all the time!)  Brett was a little banged up; “ahhh, my shoulder…ahhh”.

Cops rolled over, an ambulance showed up and a whole lot of hoopla ensued. Brett had to be taken away with a separated shoulder or something, Brett was a wuss.

Luckily all of us had worn our seat belts, a paramedic informed us that if were were not for the seat belts he would have been “Scraping us off the road” The massive welts on my shoulder and hips could attest to that. It was the seatbelt that had caused Brett’s shoulder separation, but those things also probably saved our lives. Shout out to Ralph Nader!

One by one each of us were interviewed by the cops to take our statements. I had a nice chat with the cop, he pretty much agreed that driver of idiot car was indeed an idiot, and he had almost killed us. To end the interview the police man asked if I had anything to add, anymore comments?

“Yeah! Canada won our first gold medal today!”

Cop;“Really, which event?!”

Me; “Triathalon, it was awesome!”

Cop; “Well, that’s just fantastic”

Me; “Go Canada!”

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember watching Simon Whitfield hammer that 10km to finish off that triathlon and win the gold. I was pumped, my friends were pumped, the whole damn country was pumped up.

Simon Whitfield became a Canadian hero on that day. That was just the beginning. Over the years he continued to be a relentless warrior, role model and overall fantastic ambassador for endurance sport in Canada. Dude could tear it up on the track and it was so cool to see him lace em’ up and get after it at the National Cross-Country Championships. His race in Beijing was one of the most inspiring and badass performances I have ever seen. He has done it all, and he did it all as a true Canadian and gentleman should. Always humble and courteous yet tough as friggen nails and ready to fight to the bitter end.

Simon retired a couple weeks back. It is always sad when one of your role models hangs em’ up, but that’s part of sport. Just wanted to say thanks to Simon for everything he has done. What an absolute beauty!

Alright folks, so in other news. I have dicked around the last couple weeks. Spent some time in the hometown of London Ont. Headed to Colorado and then jammed out with the family in Palm Springs. I am back in Vancouver now and ready to get back to work. Time to get back on the grind. I will run another marathon in the spring. But first and foremost I am going to really focus on tapping into my speed. I want to get in a pretty full track season in which I will race a few 10.000’s and 5000’s. I can’t wait let’s get at it!

Have a good one.


Nov 2013


COMMENTS 17 Comments

17 Responses to “Blog #105”

  1. Eric says:

    First, how did this story last until Blog #105? Second, as soon as you wrote the date in the first paragraph, I knew what story was coming. As a driver of a car, I was once told there are two options to respond to an impending car accident – 1. Swerve to avoid 2. Slam on the brakes. Whoever said that forgot about the third option which is doing absolutely nothing. I chose the third and I think the results were pretty good. We got a good story; nobody died; I was judged 100% not at fault; and I get to look forward to the memory on September 16th every year.

    The only qualm I have with your recollection is that it was told you had a separated shoulder. Brett had cracked ribs. And you forgot the part where Brett gets angry at the paramedics for cutting his shirt off. Also, I believe Todd hit on a girl who lived in the house we crashed in front of by offering her his jacket as it was a little chilly. Also, Officer Bradshaw was a complete dick.

    • rob says:

      Hey man, your quick non thinking saved all of our lives! We all walked away like champs, well except Brett, he had to be wheeled off like a bitch.
      So apparently Todd had the dislocated shoulder, Brett did indeed have the ribs cracked. My bad, maybe I hit my head harder than I thought.
      Kimball, was also a dick.

  2. Saul says:

    This story just made my day. All along I’ve been reading about hills, muscle aches, and other super skinny dudes who are really just beasts, knowing that something even more epic is bound to surface… this story my friend, takes the cake!

  3. PR says:

    Haha, ICQ. Pontiacs, beer and girls…nostalgia! good luck finding the fast twitch again.

  4. Sherlock says:

    What a tale, Watson. It’s a good thing such an accident did not get in the way of the journey you are now on. This is worthy of being put in a novel someday. Recalling from the days of my youth, I remember watching Whitfield pump out the run portion from my living room. Since then I have watched him in the ITU and at the Beijing Olympics and have always enjoyed watching how he raced. He ran the Sun Run this year and although he is retired from competitive triathlon, I hope he’ll still lace up and give those around him a feel for what it’s like to contend against THE Simon Whitfield.

  5. Former Victim of Speed says:

    Don’t do it…. I repeat – DON’T DO IT …. you have proven that ‘your’ body can handle the rigours of training for and running (profitable!) Marathons … injuries happen much more frequently in speed work-outs (and on the track) … nasty pulls and stress fractures when the body as a whole rejects the superhuman efforts of a few over excited muscles and HAMSTRINGS …. talk to your coach – if he thinks speed is a good idea for you then get a new coach … whatever speed you have now is all you are getting – you don’t get faster at your age … which explains why as runners get older they turn from 5s and 10s to Marathons – not the other way around … DON’T DO IT!

    • rob says:

      I appreciate the concern and I see what you are saying. But I gotta do it. I’m not talking sprint training or anything super, super intense. Speed training is a relative term as a marathon runner. But the fact is that if I wanna be a 2:09guy, I have to be a 28:00 type guy. Risk vs. Reward, can’t settle on 2:13, gotta get faster!

      • dorkcorral says:

        hey, Krista Duchene got hella faster after she turned 30.

        Just don’t eat mug cake every day, ok?

        • rob says:

          Krista also didn’t start training at a high level until she was like 32! Many different ways to succeed at this game. But I agree, mug cake does not really fit in any training scheme.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Rob, we can always count on you to brighten one’s day. Thanks!!

  7. dorkcorral says:

    Cake in the microwave? Only did it twice? Oh, innocent Rob. You need to be introduced to the world of making yourself cake in a coffee mug. I’ll take a little pity on you though and give you a gluten free recipe.

    • rob says:

      Holy moly, I wanna say thanks so much for opening my eyes to that wonderful world of mug based desserts, but at the same time I wanna curse you, because I am gonna get fat as hell!

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