So I decide to get the blog going again and then the first thing I do is run a terrible race. Lame. I could talk about the race, but that really wouldn’t be too much fun for anyone. I think I’ll just make 3 quick points and then move on;
1. Kelly Weibe, frick yeah!
2. Another great event from our friends at CRS.
3. It was hilarious being heckled by addicts and homeless folk during the race, gotta love East Van!
Ok, so that race wasn’t so awesome for myself. Actually pretty much all of 2014 has lacked a certain level of awesomeness. So what’s my deal? Why have I become a crappy runner? I’m not 100% sure why, but I have a theory. Can you lend me an ear? I have some things I wanna talk over. This may get weird, but sometimes you just gotta talk (write) things out to try to make sense of it all. I apologize in advance.
*Note before going on: This is all on me. I made all these decisions and choices on my own. Obviously there are outside opinions and such, But in the end I decide the things I do and how I do em’.
2013 was an awesome year for myself. I ran PB’s in the Marathon and Half Marathon. I placed well in big races and I had a lot (a lot!) of fun doing it. It was a spontaneous, exciting and free flowing. I did what I wanted, trusted my gut and lived in the moment. 2013 was pretty friggen rad.
After 2013 I figured I was on the verge of a big breakthrough, I figured that 2:10 was right around the corner. I just had to be more focused, more disciplined, be more “Professional”.
Coming into 2014 I changed my approach and took on this mindset of “professionalism”. I tried to do everything the “right” way. There were things that I wanted to do this past season, opportunities I wanted to take *cough, commonwealth games, cough*. But I chose not to because I thought they would interfere with my ultimate super elite goals. Fun took a back seat, but that was ok because I was being professional, and in the end I was gonna run wicked fast. Well, I have yet to run a good race in 2014. It has been frustrating because in my head I am thinking “what the hell? I’m doing this right, I’m being professional, why am I running like a ballsack?”
I’m just trying way too hard to be a proper pro. I’m doing this, that and everything else in an attempt to do things the way I think they should be done. It looks good on paper, but in reality there is a big problem. The problem is simply that it’s being forced, it’s not natural. It’s all so regimented and serious. That approach is lame. I have always run for the simple joy and love of the sport. I happen to have become decent at it, that’s pretty rad, but what’s the point of doing it if I can’t have some fun at the same time?
I have been influenced by what others say about me. You know how many times I’ve heard people say things like “Rob could be good if only he were more serious.” Or, “If Watson would just focus more on running and less on cookies and beer he could be really good…”
I read those things and I let it influence my mindset and decision making. I went against my gut and tried to conform to this industry standard of how an “elite” runner must act. I’m annoyed at myself for letting that get to me.
Everyone works differently. Everyone has different motivations, driving factors and goals. Along that same vein, there are also many different ways to approach things. Many different ways to tackle your goals. I strayed from my natural flow. I tried to force a different path. That clearly has not worked. I have to stick what has worked for me in the past. I have to stop trying to be a pro runner, and just run because it is what I love to do.
Don’t get me wrong. I work my balls off, and will continue to do so. I want to run a 2:10 marathon. That will take a lot of hard work, that will take a lot of sacrifice. But given the proper mindset, hard work is fun, sacrifice is necessary. I don’t mind being sore and tired all the time, just as long as I am doing it right, doing it on my terms and the way I want.
I will continue to chase my dreams and I’ll keep living this running life. I just have to remember, although running fast is fun, there so much more to this sport. The people I meet, the places I go and experiences I gather, these things can be just as rewarding and fulfilling as running a PB.
Okay, so that is what I’m thinking. I’m gonna right this ship. Onward my friends.