Well, let’s get a blog going shall we. Sorry for the little hiatus I’ve taken here from the blog. I’ve been all over the damn place the last few weeks and things have been a bit hectic. Now I’ve settled down and I have a little structure to my life. I’ve posted up at a Starbucks and I’m ready to blog away at this sucker.
But what shall we talk about? I was really, really hoping something awesome and/or hilarious would have happened to me over the past couple weeks, but sadly despite all the activities, moves and travels it has all been very standard and quite unexceptional.
Let’s recap some stuff anyways just for shits and giggles.
I have officially moved away from the home base of southern Ontario and have embarked on a life as a nomadic distance runner. I have been living outta my suitcase and will continue to do so until I eventually make my way to Vancouver and set up shop there.
My first stop was Fort Collins Colorado, I spent a week there before I ran the BolderBoulder. It was great to be back in the Fort. I crashed with my buddy Kirkpatty. Kirkpatty is amazing, he recently made a baby with his wife Ann Marie, she is rad also. Their little kid is just ridiculously amazing. That kid is so cute and well behaved. Man, I want a baby of my own. Totally gotta find me a lady in her mid-late 30’s, gotta get one who is feeling the pressures of time, one who can feel the minutes on her biological clock steadily ticking away. If you’re that kind of special lady holler at your boy, I’ll knock ya up and we can baby up this place.
My buddy Dave also lives with Kirkpatty, Dave is awesome as well. We lived together for 3years in University, Dave has seen me naked, we’re pretty close. Hi Dave!
So anyways, I went to the Fort a good 10days before I “raced” the BolderBoulder, I went early in hopes to get used to the altitude and put in a bit of training. That plan was a huge failure. I basically went there, felt terrible on every run, drank beer every night and actually probably lost some fitness. So you can guess how the BB went. Yeah, it was brutal, not even gonna talk about it.
Boulder was fun though because I got to see some old friends and meet some cool new people. Shout out to the Canadian team from BB! I’ll never forget the scene 800m into the race when it was a big ole’ pack up front and then us 3 poor Canadian bastards bringing up the rear 10m off the pack and already sucking wind and hating life. Racing at altitude is hard. We’ll get em’ next year dudes! Yeah, Sami and Sam were great dudes, good stuff.
After the BB I spent a night partying in Boulder with my buddy Dan and some other fine folks. It was a great time. Dan is a Kiwi and he’s getting deported back to New Zealand here in a couple days. Safe travels Dan!
I hope that Dan has a smooth transition back to life in his native land. It shouldn’t be too hard, but there will be a few areas in which he will find it kinda difficult. One of those areas of struggle will be when he goes out to the bars. First will be the fact that drinks will be about 40x more expensive. Man, I went to my favourite bar when I was back in Ft Collins and ordered 5pints of beer for my buds and myself. Guess how much I paid for those 5 pints? $10! 10 damn dollars for 5pints, amazing. Well done America!
And the second area of struggle for Dan at the bars will be talking to women. In America Dan’s kiwi accent is an absolute lady killer. It is unbelievable. All he has to do is go up to a girl and just start talking, you can almost see their knees buckle, they friggen swoon. (Italian and Spanish accents have a similar effect on yours truly) Having an accent is an immediate in with girls. Accents mean you are exotic and different, and therefore you are interesting and worth hanging out with. Chicks love dudes from foreign lands.
I have a maple leaf tattoo on my arm, and when I was living in the states it was awesome. People would see that tattoo and wanna talk to me because I was a foreigner and therefore awesome. But when I moved back to Canada that tattoo immediately got about 1000x less cool. People are just like “great, you’re a Canadian, so is literally everyone else here…douche”
Moving on. So I went from Colorado to Phoenix. I spent a day hanging out in Phoenix with my good buddy Andres. Andres just got transferred there for work. He loves it, but man I would be pissed off if my company decided to transfer me to the middle of the desert in June, that city is hot as hell! It would be like moving to Thunder Bay in January, it’s just stupid.
I don’t understand why some of these cities exist. Take a city like Winnipeg. Winnipeg should not exist, no reason for Winnipeg at all! This is how I figure Winnipeg came to be;
The first people to settle in Winnipeg were just very unlucky folks. They had probably been trekking across the continent on their way to Miami, but when they got to where Winnipeg is their horse suddenly died, and therefore these folks couldn’t carry their stuff anymore. But initially this was okay because it just happened to be pretty nice day in old Winnipeg. Also, these folks were probably very tired from all the trekking and such that they had been doing, so they just said eff it and build a nice little hut right there on the plain. Now this was all going down in about May or June, and these people decided to plant some seeds and such because they were pretty hungry. They grew some maize, caught some fish and life was alright…for a bit. Then one day it just got cold as hell, it snowed a good 10 feet and these people were then confined to their hut for 6 straight months. They survived off fish, ice and dirt. They decided that as soon as the snow went away they would get the hell outta there!
But this was all going down in a time before the internet or nintendo and the people got very bored just hanging out in their little hut. As a form of entertainment these people had a lot of sex. Sex was not sexy back then. Everyone was way too hairy and smelly for it to be sexy at all. Sex was only done to cure boredom and build armies or the work force and such. Also of note is the fact that back then contraception was unreliable. So then when the snow eventually melted and the people had a their chance to escape all the ladies were preggers and unable to move. So they had to stay put. Then the babies finally came and they could get away! But sadly it was too late, winter had come back and trapped em’ again. This vicious cycle continued for years and years…That is the story of Winnipeg.
Anyways, so finally I traveled from Phoenix up the road to Flagstaff Arizona. I’m up here to put in some training with my man Dylan Wykes. Dylan is pretty quick, he’s Canada’s #1 ranked marathoner and is training for the Olympics. I’m super pumped to be here. I’m gonna try to jump in and help Dylan where ever possible, and I’m assuming that as a result I’ll get pretty fit in doing so.
So finally I feel focused and ready to get back to work. I have been here for 5days and I am absolutely loving it. This place is incredible for training. The altitude was a bit of a shock at first, but it’s getting better. It’s weird, heading into the BB I had maybe 2-3 decent runs, my workouts were rubbish and I generally just sucked at running. I was hoping that I could fake it at BB and do something decent off of residual marathon fitness. That did not happen. But now I’m up here, I’m in a great environment and the situation is ideal. So far my runs up here have been great and I’m feeling good. We rolled an awesome 21miler yesterday, it’s go time man.
The switch has been flicked, the training grind is back on. Time to get to work and time to get fit. This life as a nomadic distance running fool is the life for me man, wouldn’t have it any other way.
Love ya’ll I’m outta here.