Blog #81

Hey, gonna start by saying a huge congrats to my man Cleve Thorson and Danielle Rowlands. Those two little love birds got married on Saturday night back in the Guelph. Super happy for them folk, also I’m gonna guess that as of late Saturday night/early Sunday morning they are expecting some babies. Word on the street is that Cleve is a very fertile young man. So congrats on that also guys, weddings and babies, quite a night.

Cleve and Danielle are good people. I lived with Cleve for a bit at the Moulton Distance Project and we trained together for years at the River. He is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. I’m serious man, go meet Cleve, and then go meet a bunch of other people. I guarantee that Cleve will be in the top 5 as far as genuine good guyness goes.

I worked with Danielle at the Syntec, she is also awesome. She’s an engineer of some sort. She would always help me out when I got confused trying to do my work (approx 4-5 times/day). I love them both, they will make top notch offspring.

Marriage and babies are awesome, one day I wanna get married and have some babies. I want three babies to be exact. First I want to have a girl, then about two years later I want to have a boy, then a couple years later I want another kid, don’t care what the third one is.

I want the girl first because girls are cool and it would make my mom pretty happy to have a little girl in the family (she has 5 boys). Then I want to have a boy, it has to be fairly soon after the girl. I want the little dude to be close enough in age to his sister so that he can fight/beat up guys whom are mean to the girl. I know that there will be times as a dad that I will feel the need to beat up a dude for my little girls sake. But it is generally frowned upon for adults to beat up kids. I am gonna have my little guy trained in MMA, and when a guy needs a beat down for upsetting my little girl I will pay my son $12 to do some “work”. That’s a sweet plan, kinda, minus all the violence and such.

Do you believe in Karma? I do. You get what ya give folks. So Remember last post when I was making fun of my roommate for peeing on the floor and then cracking his head open? I was really busting his balls for that quite a bit, maybe too much actually. I was mean, I should have been sympathetic, I was not.

So anyways, the weekend after Filmon (roomie) cracked his head we were out having some drinks at our local watering hole. We were having a fairly low key evening, just minding our own business sitting at a table beside the window. All of a sudden out of absolutely nowhere some drunken fool ran by and punched the bar window. It was quite a loud bang, so naturally I turned my head to see what the hell was going on. I turned just in time for a giant piece of glass to fall right on my face. It was lame man, the whole damn window was just raining down.

It was a confusing situation, after the deluge of glass had subsided I looked at Fil and calmly asked “Am I bleeding?” he said “yes.” We went to the back of the bar to get cleaned up. It didn’t seem to bad at first, I got in the light and the bartender was all like “let’s see what we got here” I then scrunched my face in a kinda weird way, immediately his eyes got really big and his tone changed drastically as a river of blood started to pour outta my chin. I was instructed to go to the hospital and get sewn up, it was lame man. I had to get 5 stitches, I bled all over my clothes and the crashing window spilled my beer. Not cool random drunk idiot, not cool at all.

Luckily though the bar people caught the guy who did it, I’m gonna sue him for $117 to pay for my spilled beers, ruined clothes and pain and suffering. I guess I kinda had it coming though, Karma man, it’s a bitch. It was funny though as Fil and I were both rocking facial wounds there for a little while. I’m gonna have a nice little Indiana Jones scar now. Scars make ya look tough though. I’m gonna tell girls that I’m an MMA fighter. Those guys are generally douches, but they get smoking hot girls.

My dream of male modeling sadly comes to an end.

Since I moved to Vancouver I have been forced to stop carrying money in my wallet. One reason is that I seldom have money to carry in the first place. The other reason is that this city has a lot of folk asking for spare change. These folk are often disheveled and desperate, and I feel bad. I probably gave away $48 worth of change in my first week here, I just can’t say no to these people.

One guy asked for money for a coffee as I was leaving Tim Hortons, I handed him a loonie and then held the door for him…he turned around and left. I think when he said he wanted “Coffee” he actually meant “crack”. I think that I have probably inadvertently bought about $68 worth of crack for some of Vancouver’s finest since I’ve been here. One crafty bugger even managed to scam me outta $20. He was one hell of an actor, but looking back on it, his story did not check out at all!

Anyways, so now I don’t have change in my pockets, I’m tired of buying crack for the homeless. I still try to help when I can though. The other day I was leaving the grocery store when this rather scraggly young lad gave me the ole’ “hey man, I’m so hungry, can I have a dollar for a sandwhich?”

I said, “sorry man I don’t have any money, but here have this” (reach into my grocery bag and randomly pull out something) It’s a tub of yogurt. 1kg of plain yogurt. I hand it to the guy.

He blankly looks at me, then at the yogurt, he is confused. “What the hell am I supposed to do with this?”

I’m embarrassed, yogurt is a terrible offering, I wish I had pulled out an apple or something, anything but plain yogurt. Plain yogurt is gross. I put honey, granola and fruit in it to make it better. I don’t think this guy had these items handy. I stayed strong though, I had to stand behind my yogurt offering. “Eat it, you said you were hungry”

“How am I going to eat it? I don’t have a spoon”

Crap, good point. Son of a bitch, this transaction is going terribly, and it is getting very awkward, people on the street are starting to notice. “Grab a spoon from the store, they’re at the front counter”

He just stared blankly at me like, he was not expecting this at all. It is an odd feeling to have a person who hasn’t bathed, had a hair cut or shaved in months give you a look that clearly says “you are an idiot”. I am feeling stupid as hell, and now I am annoyed at myself for giving away my yogurt. I had like 10 apples in my grocery bag, I could have easily parted with an apple. Why the hell did I grab the yogurt? That thing of yogurt was like $4, and now I’m gonna have to go back in the store and buy more.

I crumbled, “sorry man, this is a poor offering, here’s the receipt, you can return the yogurt for something else”

He said nothing, he just took the receipt and walked over to the store.  I hung out and watched. After a few minutes he came outta the store sans yogurt and scampered off towards East Hastings. After my new buddy was gone  I went in and bought more yogurt, it was a weird morning. I felt so damn silly.

Wanna hear some running news? Too bad, nothing to report. Over and out!



Nov 2012


COMMENTS 13 Comments

13 Responses to “Blog #81”

  1. Anthony says:

    Damn, I’ve gotta start hangin’ out in your general vicinity. There is clearly a steady stream of loot to be had from your broke runner’s ass. What are you, Candide? Where you born miles from civilization, a child of earnest missionaries? Get wise, or die. Soon. And I don’t mean I want you to die. He’ll, no. I’m rootin’ for you. But rubes of your ilk don’t last long. I’ll pray for you. To Satan, that is, to mean you up a bit.

    • rob says:

      I know man, I am broke as hell, but I just feel so bad walking by these people. They are way worse off than I am. I just wanna help! They see me coming a mile away, I’m a sucker man.
      Think I’ll just volunteer at a food bank or something, that way I can help these folk out and feel better at the same time. Win-win!

  2. ThunderFist says:

    Pouring BLOOD!!!!! Did you faint?

  3. the roomate says:

    my rendition of the story would have gone something like this: help me… my face… not blood, but hey no one wants to hear the truth

  4. Anonymous says:

    Keep blogging Destroyer and make your way down for the boxing day 10 miler in The Hammer.


  5. wannabeelite says:

    Well, after tweaking my achilles tendon and sitting out 4 weeks from mid September to mid October, I finally got back to running only to roll the same foot over a firecracker on halloween evening. Sat out 4 days for teh swelling and pain to disappear and finally started training again today. It’s been a hell of a fall so far. My karma is wacked up and I don’t even know why!!!!! I’m going to train on the treadmill now so no outside factor can harm me….haha.

    • rob says:

      Sorry to hear about your injuries, gotta roll with the punches in this sport man, keep at it and keep hungry!


      • wannabeelite says:

        Hey, brah.

        I’m back on the wagon, hungry as always. Having read more about training and such, I’ve come to the conclusion that I should spend my fall and winter doing base training. Aside from finding out that I should do a lot of moderately paced miles per week to build my aerobic base, I’m having a tough time finding examples of what a good base training program should be like? I want to do base training in order to PB at the 10km in the spring. Can you help? The only thing I know a bit about is the Lydiard method…..what method do you use for base training?

  6. Coolis says:

    I’m pretty sure the last time I saw you I told you I bought a homeless person a pizza to avoid the whole crack-buying trap. How did you interpret ‘reaching blindly into your grocery bag and retrieving a 1kg tub of yogurt’ from that? You have things to learn in Vancity dude ! Not only are homeless people drug addicts, they are picky eaters. Next time try salmon sashimi, kale and chia seeds, he probably would have responded much better to that.

    • rob says:

      Hey Coolis, take it easy on me man. You lived in KIts, there are like two beggars in Kits. My neck of the woods is a gosh darn war zone, it is absurd! I panicked when Yogurt man got me, usually you can spot a beggar from a distance, gives ya time to plan an approach, but this sneaky devil just snuck up on me. It’s stressful.

  7. Anonymous says:

    a good read?

    anything written by Jon Krakaur

    such as

    Under The Banner of Heaven

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